Christmas: The 2021 Edition

     I've written many posts about Christmas over the years. Half of them being critical of the parts I don't like, the other half about the best and most important aspects of the holiday. This year, everything is different. My perspective not just on Christmas, but life itself.  I've been thinking about this post for weeks, and for some reason have put off writing it.

    I love Christmas as much as I ever did, if not more. It seems like it becomes more meaningful when you're struggling with loss. From knowing that this Christmas will never be like all the Christmas Days that came before.  

   This year, the Christmas season became a welcome distraction from my troubles, and the sadness I've been feeling since I lost my dad. It seems like it's been the holiday season for a very long time (since before Thanksgiving), but now it's almost over, and I'm not as anxious for it to end as I used to be.

    For the first time in my adulthood, I was able to reach all my holiday goals--I finally made that stupid fruitcake I keep talking about every year. And it was delicious, if I do say so myself!  I was able to get a real tree for the first time in years, and I managed to get the house decorated inside and out, something I usually didn't have time for because I was so busy with my job.

    I've been upset about the fact that I'm not employed, but to look on the bright side, it's been a blessing to be able to have the time to do all the things I felt deprived of doing in recent memory. Like getting almost all my shopping done in a timely manner, getting cards made and mailed out, and baking up lots of cookies and sending gifts to two of my friends who live out of state. I even got to a church bazaar, and won a really nice gift basket, which I gave to my niece.

    I used to complain about how tired I was of Christmas because my job demanded me to plan and execute holiday activities, concerts, and  parties. I loved it and it was rewarding, but tiring. I blamed this for my lack of Christmas spirit.  Stepping away from Christmas as a "job" has brought back a lot of the appreciation I have for the holiday, letting me concentrate on what it's really about.

     So today, the big day is finally here. It's gloomy outside, with freezing rain. "It's a Wonderful Life" is on, and I'm happy I don't have to go out.  It was a perfect day for cooking a nice meal. I made a ham, and found a nice honey mustard glaze recipe to put on it. I also made fresh green beans, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes and cornbread. 

    It's just about ready, so I will end it here with some pictures of the season. And a heartfelt "Merry Christmas" to you, whoever and where ever you are. I hope you were able to have a peaceful and happy day, spent with your family or friends that you love. 

Sincerely, 

Karin     

                        Christmas Dinner

                              Some of the ornaments I made, pine cones I found, and an old Christmas candy tin!

 

                                                    Nice decorations nearby my house

                     These are all ornaments my mother made many years ago, on our tree this year.

               Pictures taken while out shopping and in Leominster Center this season

                                            Wreath I decorated with scraps of material

 I made a collage to save space and to easily show more photos-but some of them are cut off on the sides

                                 Jimmy and Lily like the Christmas Teddy Bear collection!

                                    Some shots of the lights on my porch, and the Christmas tree

Remembering Mr. Chamberlain

 Everybody has a teacher that they never forgot. One that was encouraging, or influenced and inspired you a certain way. I've had several, some from each stage of my school career. Maybe I'll write about some of the others another day. Today I want to talk about my 10th grade Honors English teacher, Mr. Ernie Chamberlain. 

   Each day of class had a different theme. Monday was spelling day, with a 10 word quiz, Wednesday was Greek roots and vocabulary day with quiz, Thursday was sentence skills day (grammar) and Friday was speech day. When not doing these activities, we'd either be acting out a play, or be discussing topics such as Jungian psychology, religion, good vs. evil, etc. We'd apply these themes to whatever book we happened to be reading.

    I wasn't exactly a star student in his class. English was always my best and favorite subject.  Although I understood most of what we studied, I couldn't really prove it. I got easy A's in curriculum 1 in 9th grade, so I thought I'd do fine in a harder class.  I had no trouble with the material, or workload. But for whatever reason, I didn't do well on the exams. Mr. Chamberlain's philosophy was to get us to produce under pressure. A good idea, but I wilted under the pressure! Many tests were too long for me to complete. 

    I didn't do well on the essays, either. Mostly C's and a few B's. But reading his comments was a real ego crusher. I don't know what the other kids wrote, but my work was sub-par most of the time, "thin" and not grasping whatever he was looking for.

  Despite my struggles, I really enjoyed the class. I finally redeemed myself in the 4th term, when instead of a final exam, we had to write a term paper.  The paper would count for three tests. When I got an A, it brought my grade for the term up to a B, and the year up to C+. What a thrill! I can still remember how I felt, finally breaking through. 

   The essay was to take a fable and update it to modern times. I chose "Don't count your chickens before they hatch", and it was about a Bruins fan who thought her team would win the Stanley Cup that year. Of course they didn't, in real life or in my fictional story. I was so proud of myself when he told the class I had the best story. Normally, the student got to read their paper out loud to the class, but for some reason, I didn't get the chance. Maybe he thought I didn't want to, since I never volunteered to speak up in class. In any event, it meant a lot to me. I know I still have the paper somewhere, but I can't find it. I just remember him saying in his comments "This is a side of Karin Porter I've never seen!" 

    Fast forward two years, to 1986. I was nearing graduation, and I was writing more and more. I always liked to give my work to friends to critique. He was nice enough to read a big folder of non-fiction essays about a variety of subjects.  I still have the note he wrote, with words that still make me feel good today. 

"Karin, 

  Thank you for sharing your writings with me. All the way through there are glimpses of a real person at work. Your humor and sense of the trivial-made-great shines forth at every turn of the paragraphs. 

  My favorite here is "Sylvester". Silly and your cup are rare treasures.   Your seasons of "summer" and "winter" also are both interesting and insightful-the January thaw bit hits today on the "nose".

  Keep working on such things as the smell of freshly cleaned clothes, etc. Again, thanks and keep it up.

It occurs to me your name is very similar to that of Katherine Anne Porter- anyone ever tell you that?    

                              ------ Ernest C.

PS-There's a distinct personality to these writings that is rare and should be cultivated. Most people's writing is "faceless."

   Sylvester (mentioned above) was my cat, who died an untimely death being hit by a car. But most of the story was about his personality.

The final English paper I wrote, in May '86, (with a different teacher) was called "Me and my High school years". It covered four years, but part of it was what I wrote about here, how much Mr. C influenced me. I asked him to read it, and I was surprised at how humble he was, and how I made him realize how good a teacher he was.

It says "Karin, my feet may never touch the ground again. You're already on your way to becoming one of-maybe The - greatest people to come my way. Thanks so much for letting me read this. EEC. "

On the last day of school, I asked Mr. C to pose with the cup he mentioned above. It was a ceramic mug my mom made, painted in the Bruins black and gold (actually yellow, and I think in my story there was a derogatory remark about the Bruins being "yellow"!)

Sorry about the glare. But I'm so glad I have this picture. He hammed it up with my cup, which was named "Stanley".

   After high school, I kept in touch with Mr. C, as well as the librarians. When I started my Bruins newsletter, and was writing for "Boston Sports Report" in the early 90's, I sent them copies, and they were all happy and excited for me. I was, too! I found out from Mrs. Nelson, the head librarian, that he had retired, so she forwarded my newsletters to him (I had sent them to the school.)  He wasn't a sports fan, so he didn't understand all the hockey jargon in my articles, but he did like my newsletter and my writing style.

  Over the next few years, Mr. Chamberlain wasn't my teacher, he was my friend. He took me out to lunch a few times, and one year it happened to be my mom's birthday the day I saw him, so we stopped at the supermarket and he bought my mom some potted flowers.  I have another vague memory of  driving around and going to Needham, so I could show him the convent where I was working as a cook. We got pulled over, I think because I didn't have my seat belt on! At least he didn't get a ticket.  We always planned on getting together with the librarians, but it didn't happen.  

   It was always nice to see him, and he talked about some of his other students he had kept in touch with. One of them was Nancy Glass, who back in the 90's was on TV quite often as a news reporter and on magazine-type shows. I thought that was pretty cool.

   It was a little funny, I always called him "Mr. Chamberlain", and after I was out of school, he was always telling me to "call me Ernie!" but I never felt comfortable with it. Kind of like Mary Richards always calling her boss "Mr. Grant" instead of "Lou". 

    His wife passed away suddenly in 1994, from e-coli poisoning; from tainted well water. Mr.Chamberlain was never quite the same after that. I could tell he was melancholy, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I got busy with work, and we eventually lost touch. In between, I sent him my homemade cookies, which he loved, and he sent me Christmas gifts a couple of times-stationary, blank writing journals, and other small things. I still have them (of course.)

     At some point, I must have wrote him, and he never responded. I did a search online, and I was saddened to see he had passed away in 2010. When reading his obit, I learned more about his early days, and his military service.

   He was 79 when he passed away. I don't know the cause. He served in Korea. It's hard for me to think of him being young, and in the Army, even though I'm looking at a photo of him in his uniform.

   I don't usually write a post like this one, where I'm tooting my own horn, and rambling on and on.  Over the years, I've thought of writing about him many times. When I found all the old letters, pictures and essays, it seemed like the right time. 

   A few days ago I looked him up on Legacy.com, and there were dozens of people who left written tributes to him. I wasn't his only fan. Many students spoke of his work in the school theater productions. I never saw him do any of that, I really didn't know anything about it. 

   Where he had no children, I don't know if he has relatives I can contact. But I will post my own message soon. He was a nice man, and I can still remember the way he laughed. I hope he can see that even though I'm not a "real" published author, I have stayed true to my roots with this blog. I really DO celebrate the "trivial-made-great"! 

Thank you, Mr. Chamberlain. You were a splendid teacher, who your students remember fondly. 

Here is what he looked like in my yearbook-he wasn't usually wearing a suit! 

 Teachers don't always get the credit they deserve. They can truly change lives, and sometimes us students can change theirs.

  

Happy Birthday Jimmy and Lily!

    I don't know how I could've forgotten it, but today is Jimmy and Lily's birthday! Or close enough. I looked back on the e-mails I had from the wonderful lady who gave them to me.

   They were born during the night between October 6 and 7, 2018. Since I'm assuming it was in the wee hours after midnight, I am celebrating officially today, on the 7th.

       These guys are two peas in a pod. From the beginning, the reason I picked them (from a lineup of photos) was because Lily was giving Jimmy a kiss. They reminded me of my Bootsie and Chester, sweet brothers I raised way back in the 90's. 

        I was so lucky to have my friend help me out by driving all the way to Vermont to get them for me while she was picking out a litter mate for herself. The rest is history. 

Lily is giving Jimmy a kiss-or maybe just sniffing him.

I couldn't resist! Plus I was attracted to her all white chest, stomach and front legs!

My friend took this picture of the entire litter before bringing three of them back with her. Jimmy is the tiger in the middle and Lily is on the right in the middle. This is one of the cutest photos I've ever seen!

   Jimmy has grown into a friendly heavyweight, and Lily is petite, playful and cute. They get along well most of the time. Happy Birthday!

        

Tumbling my way through Life

     I've started tumbling rocks again, after a very long hiatus. I'm glad I did, it's an interesting way to mark the passage of time.

     I used to marvel at how fast the weeks and months went by in terms of my work. I was the Activity Director at a nursing home, so my life revolved around the calendar, the holidays and seasons, religious practices, and everyday events. The point is, the weeks flew by.        Since I've been out of work, the weeks still fly by, but the time is dragging at the same time. If it wasn't for all the TV I've been watching, it would be hard to tell what day it is. On Saturday and Sunday it seems like a novelty because different shows are on. And now we have football on Sundays. 

      Getting back to my rock tumbler, it seems like a month is a long time to work on any project. But the first week is already done (I think it was actually six days, to be honest. I will have to go back and check.)

     There is a timer on the tumbler, and this next round is supposed to be 7 to 8 days on medium speed. So at 4:00 next Saturday I will examine the rocks again, and if they need more time, I can put them back for another day. If anything, it seems like they might need less time. As you will see in the photos, A lot happened in the first week!

Because of the metal grit and the ground stone in the water, you can't just dump the water in the sink. I had to bring the tumbler barrel outside, and I had a container of water and poured rocks into the provided strainer. Slurry goes into the container for safe disposal.

There is still a lot of sludge on the rocks.

I was very pleased by how nicely they are coming along-all the rough edges are gone. When they were wet, I was convinced they didn't need any more tumbling! I was wrong, of course. Once they dried, it was clear that they need a little more fine tumbling and polishing, of course.

You can probably tell these are a few "ordinary" rocks I had collected from home, and from our new back yard to make sure there was enough in the tumbler. The barrel is supposed to be half to 2/3 full of rocks and water. These rocks were smaller than the "good" stones, so I did not include them in the second round. If I did, they would grind down to pebbles! To make up the difference I put plastic beads in the tumbler, which it told to do in the instructions. You can also use ceramic pellets. I don't have those yet.

Back in the tumbler they go for another week!

When all this is done, it will be well into October. That's a sobering thought. If you know me, you know how I feel about losing my daylight! But somehow I always manage to survive it. Hopefully, this little hobby will make it a little more fun.

Rediscovering my Hobbies

Everybody has things they did a long time ago, that got lost in the shuffle. In my case, it's drawing. I was always pretty good at drawing, at least everybody always told me I was. 

The main thing is, I enjoyed doing it, and like most kids, I drew my share of pictures over the years. In high school I continued with art classes. I probably should have made a portfolio and gone to art school, but I wasn't that serious about it. I was more serious about writing. 

Through the ensuing years, I've done ceramics, worked with clay, painted with acrylics-mainly on those little cardboard boxes they sell at the craft store. I used to make magnets out of postage stamps and other little pictures. Those were really cute and useful. I still have them somewhere. 

There are dozens of other types of crafts I enjoy doing or would like to learn. But this week, I went back to my roots and rediscovered how much fun it is to draw. Just on a whim, I drew a picture of Jimmy, my cat. It came out OK considering it was done without really trying that hard. The outline was ball point pen and I used colored pencils to color him in. 

His head is a little misshapen, and his paw on the right side is too skinny. I wanted to keep his whiskers white, so I had to use paint, and so his whiskers are too fat. But I still think its a pretty good likeness of him.

Later that night, I used a nice picture of Lily to draw her portrait, and I was surprised that it came out so well considering how out of practice I am. I always draw freehand. 

I managed to capture her personality, but if you look at the photograph, you can see a lot of differences.

There are devices you can buy to project images onto the paper to help you out, but that might be considered cheating, at least it seems like it to me. After I was done with Lily, I decided to try a scenic picture. I went on the porch and tried to copy what I saw across the street: the two big pine trees, and the street itself. I have to admit, I have a real problem with perspective. Even though I was drawing what I saw, it sure wasn't in the proper proportion. I was attempting to show the other street in the distance, and other houses and trees. When it didn't work, I just went with artistic license, and turned it into another scene that also didn't come out right. I made the street a dirt road, but it kind of went up and stopped into a dead end. I tried to fix it by putting a stone wall up. It looks pretty, but it definitely doesn't make sense if you are paying attention.

This is what I was trying to draw. You can't see the other large pine tree in this photo.

I decided to make the house red. 

Just for fun, I took pictures as I went along.  At this point, I was undecided about what to do on the left. I was just going to cut the page and leave it out, but I was having so much fun coloring I decided to try and fix it, and I could still cut it if it didn't come out OK.

Here is the finished picture. Do you think it looks OK? 

If you have a hobby you forgot about, it's never too late to go back and start up again. You might just be surprised at how well you do, and how much fun you have! 

Staying Busy Doing Nothing

     My title is a little but cynical and a little bit play on words.  The meaning here is that I'm trying to stay busy while I'm not working for a paycheck. It's starting to take it's toll.  It's hard to stay in good habits after all that time. I try to get up early every day even though I have no place to go, or much motivation to face the day when I feel like I have no purpose sometimes.

     Even if I know it's not really like that, I've been struggling to maximize all this free time with things that are meaningful, fun, fulfilling, or practical. Naturally, I spend part of the day doing housework, laundry, and cooking meals.  But that still leaves way too many hours to fill. 

     You can only watch so much TV,  scroll so much Facebook. So what else have I been doing to fill the time the last couple of weeks?

1. Online education: I got a package deal on about 70 various online entrepreneurial classes, e-books, videos, etc. Some of them teach you how to sell your creations on Etsy, and how to make things in Canva. There are courses to help you write your memoirs, get over procrastination, set up a blog, marketing on social media, and lots more. I didn't access the things I knew I wouldn't use, but I got tons of information that would have cost thousands full price. So now after registering and downloading all the good ones, it's a little overwhelming. It's information overload.  So far I've watched a bunch of videos, read some articles about how to Eat for productivity, how to be confident, how to change your negative inner voice to a positive one. I started a course on how to "Build your digital Etsy Empire" and "nifty notebook creation". Wish me luck! 

2. Making Time Lapse Movies: I have a new app on my Kindle that allows you to make Time Lapse Movies! It's pretty simple, just put the camera where you want to film, make sure it's facing the right way, hit record. So far I've had mixed results. You need about at least a half hour of running time to make about 45 seconds of finished film. That's with a shot every two seconds. So far I have made one that was a view of the back yard with barely noticeable wind blowing leaves,  Clouds rolling over blue sky, a better one of back yard woods with big puffy clouds, and last but not least a view from upstairs window of cars going by the house. This was the most visually appealing. with cars appearing and disappearing! I also did a sunset that wasn't colorful enough and a sunrise that didn't happen on camera because the camera was facing the wrong way, even though it seemed like it was right. I wish I could post one here, but I'm not able to transfer the files as of yet.

3.  Organizing my photos:  I do have to pat myself on the back for how nice my albums are coming along. Since the advent of digital photography, people are less apt to print out hard copies of pictures, and that's a shame. I love high definition slide shows of my pictures on the computer, and I have dabbled in having my cell phone pictures made into miniature photo books. But there's something to be said for good old fashioned photos that you can pick up, and arrange in a photo album. It's something you can save for posterity and leave to your ancestors after you're long gone from this planet. Just be sure to include information about who is in the pictures and where the places are! It's a little astounding just how many photos I have in envelopes, just the ones I took. I have a separate project going on with older pictures, but I'll save the details for another time.

The small one that says "memories" on the binding has a spot to write about the photos. I will have to make an index for the other ones.

4. Yard work: we inherited nice tall hedges at our new house. Presumably because the house next to us is fairly close, and the hedge is a privacy screen. And the view of the side of a gray house isn't that appealing. I'm sure the neighbors aren't thrilled about the side of our beige house. Even so, the hedges needed to be pruned, if for no other reason then because they were looking shabby, overgrown, yet the leaves looked dead. So I got a new pair of pruning shears, that are quite excellent considering they aren't very big. I had made the mistake of ordering an electric hedge clipper that had an extension that was adjustable. I envisioned an easy job with it. Boy was I wrong! It was so heavy I could barely get it out of the box, much less lift it. I knew it would be dangerous to even try using it. So I had to bring it back for a refund.  I'm about 75 % done with the trimming, and I have a lot of branch disposal to deal with! I need barrels and more paper lawn waste bags.  Yard work isn't as easy as it used to be, but I still enjoy it. I was going to hire a landscaper to do it, but I decided I'd at least try to do it myself first, and the $400 I saved I could use for lawn furniture or garden supplies. Here is a before and after!

You can see the parts I was having trouble with look a little silly. But the hedge will look better when it grows back, I hope! 

5. Crafts: I've been working on little fun painting projects. Nothing profound. I painted some old wooden things I had on hand, and pieces of cardboard that would normally get tossed. Then I decorate and gloss. It's fun and relaxing. I've also started working on glass jars and tin cans. It's amazing what a little paint can do to transform a piece of recycling into a useful pencil holder! 

                     I think they came out pretty good. Wait until I get all my supplies and get serious!

Well, I guess I'll close this for now, and catch up on some of my other hobbies. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend!

Happy Birthday, Tricia, Glad I know where you are!!

 Quite a few years ago, I wrote a post called "Happy Birthday, wherever you are!" It was all about my special friend in high school, and what her friendship meant to me. I made a mistake about her birthday, thinking it was August 13th when it was really the 23rd. 

Back in 2012, I was still searching for Patricia, aka Tricia. We had lost touch way before cell phones and Facebook.  I didn't think I'd ever find her. But I thought of her often.

UPDATE!!! TRICIA HAS BEEN FOUND!!  Granted, she was never really missing. She was still in the Washington DC area, with a fantastic job. I managed to find Tricia's best friend on classmates.com.  How happy I was when Nancy gave me Tricia's email .  It's been almost a year since we started corresponding again.  She is the same wonderful person, and it's been great catching up.  

If you missed my original post, the link is here: Please read it!

https://kp-lifeiswhatyoumakeit.blogspot.com/2012/08/happy-birthday-tricia-wherever-you-are.html

I just want to wish Tricia a happy birthday, and keep on being your special self! 

Love,

Karin

Miss You, Michaela!!!

     I hope everybody has had a friend as loyal and supportive as the friend I had in Michaela Charron. She died on this day in 2017.  It was a real shock to me, and I felt so bad I let our friendship go by the wayside. 

    She got pancreatic cancer from polluted water in her town water supply.  I found out from mutual friend Jack on Facebook. I hadn't realized how bad it was, since I never got her final posts on Facebook for some reason.

    I met Michaela through my pen pal Jack. I was writing a Bruins newsletter at the time, and he was one of my subscribers. She was a Bruins fan too, and Jack thought we had things in common and might hit it off. We sure did! 

    Even though we never met, and only spoke on the phone a few times, we were long-distance soul sisters. It's rare to find somebody who really understands your feelings and can be your BFF and accepts you the way you are.

    She would want me to tell you that she pronounced her name MY-ka-la. Not my-KAY-la. The emphasis on "mike". She lived in Hoosick Falls New York, where I lived in Newton Upper Falls, MA.  We shared a love of music in general and the Bee Gees in particular. Aside from the Bruins, we both loved cats, poetry, writing, nature, antiques and collectibles, photography, and old TV shows. 

    We had fun back in those days before You tube took over the world. She sent me her want list of songs and TV shows, and I was able to help her with some of them that were in my dad's music collection. When some shows she wanted were airing here and not in NY, I would videotape them for her. 

    I think Michaela was about 15 years older than me. I don't think she ever divulged her age, but it didn't matter. She was like an older, wiser sister. I loved to send her things I wrote for impartial critiquing. I sent her some of my original Bruins journals from my teen years to read for fun, and I still have all the sticky notes in them with her comments. Priceless memories. 

    Michaela was a wonderful writer herself, and she was at one point using me as a model for one of the characters in a short story she was writing. I don't think she ever finished writing it, but what an honor!  She wrote some beautiful poetry, and I almost forgot about the articles she wrote for my newsletter. There were other articles that were reprints from another hockey periodical back in the 70's or 80's, complete with illustrations she drew. I still have them somewhere.

    Part of what made our friendship so special was the letters we wrote back and forth. We were true pen pals- she used legal paper that was really long, and in various colors. She had small handwriting (a sign of intelligence). We talked about so many things, and because our letters were so long, 15-20 double sides, it could take a month or longer to answer! Waiting for a letter in the mail was like waiting for the Heinz ketchup to ooze out of the bottle. When it finally arrived I savored it. 

    We loved to send each other cute little gifts on birthdays and Christmas. One of my most treasured gifts is a perpetual calendar with psalm and bible quotes in it. I still use it to this day.  When they stopped selling my favorite marigold "Halsa" shampoo here, She sent me a bottle. And countless pairs of gel insoles she got at the dollar store. 

     I'm sorry to say that I still have a lot of the things I bought for her that never made it into the mail. Ceramic cats, jewelry, and a little frog prince charm to help her find her own Prince Charming. Neither one of us were fond of Valentine's Day.

    I always hoped to get to Hoosick Falls to meet her, or for her to come to Boston for a Bruins game and to meet me while she was in town. It never happened, but maybe it's better that way, I'm not sure. 

    If you've never experienced it, being a friend through written words is probably deeper and more meaningful than talking or hanging out. Different, but more intimate. Like we were strangers who knew each other so well. Not that I had any secrets, but I could have trusted her with anything I wanted to share, vent about or lament. She had been there before me and understood.  She gave me good advice if I asked, gave me moral support in all my creative endeavors, and shared in our love of life, dreams, and things we wanted that would never come true.  We rooted for each other. 

    Maybe she never got to marry Paul McCartney, or got her own special house. It doesn't matter. She was a beautiful soul, one you don't meet often in life. I'm so flattered and honored she chose to be my friend. She always understood my lapses in writing. She always remembered me, and I will always remember her.  True friendship never dies.

Rest in Peace and memory eternal, Michaela. 

Here is the perpetual calendar Michaela sent me. "Quiet Moments from the Bible" circa 1995. Have never been able to find another one. So glad I still have it!

    

    

The Bucket List

    Yesterday I promised I was coming back today with my list of things I hoped to do or accomplish before I die. I was so busy vegging out watching "Flea Market Flip" that I almost forgot. So this list I'm submitting now is still a rough draft. I reserve the right to edit, expand, and/or delete as I go along. 

    Some of this is really easy and do-able, some I don't know yet! Travel seems to be on my mind more recently. In reality, I don't like the process of travel, but some places I really want to see with my own eyes.  Luckily, my places aren't very far away: Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island, and the Islands where you can see puffin colonies. I love puffins!! 

    I would love to do a cruise along the Maine coast, and stop and see lighthouses along the way.  And take lots of pictures. I've never seen a live palm tree or an orange grove, so at some point I should go somewhere tropical. I's also love to see the Northwest, maybe Oregon, to an Iris farm-to see all the various iris flowers in bloom. I would love to hold and hug a koala bear, and swim with the dolphins. 

    Lately, I've been thinking about all the great music I listen to, but there are some iconic artists I have never seen in concert. Gordon Lightfoot, for one. I see he is still performing, and will be in Boston and Worcester later this year. He is 82 years old!!! He's still singing and his guitar playing is fine. I watched a you tube video from last July, and he sounded surprisingly good. Part of the appeal is being in the same room with the artist and being a part of the musical vibes they share with the audience. So even if he isn't in his prime anymore, I would like to see him in concert. 

    In my pipe dream category, there are a few famous people I would love to meet: Barry Gibb, Steve Winwood,  Bobby Orr and Ray Bourque. My musical and sports heroes. And I'm pretty sure they are all quality people too. If anyone has any connections to these guys, let me know!!

    Even though I think I'm afraid of heights, I still want to go on a hot air balloon ride. It's supposed to be pretty safe. Now lets move onto the easy ones! I've always wanted to go to the Brimfield Fair. I just live to see all those antiques and nick-knacks. I would love to have my own consignment or gift shop.  

    As far as learning new skills, I feel compelled to finish learning to play guitar and/or piano. It would be nice if I could learn to sing, but I don't think the world would ever be ready to hear it! 

    I can't really think of anything else right now, except maybe to write a best seller-it would be non-fiction. I haven't looked into the cost or viability of all these bucket-list entries. But you can't do anything if you don't try.

Here is a video of the puffins!

Have you made your bucket list yet?

    Don't worry, this won't be morbid or even a little profound. Well, hopefully a little bit profound. My goal when I write is to make the reader think at least a tiny bit. I always hope that whatever I'm talking about is relevant and thought provoking. 

    My issue lately, if you want to call it that, is finding a new purpose in my life. It seems like ever since I lost my dad, I'm painfully aware of all the things he wanted to do that never came to fruition. Then I think about all the things that I still want to do, and feel like I'd better start now, before I'm too old to do them physically. Or who knows how much longer I'll even be around? The way things have been the last year, we can't afford to take anything for granted.

    These days I feel more impatient, and nothing makes any sense to me. I wonder why I can never be satisfied; I'm always looking too far ahead. For example, I heard on the weather a couple of days ago that we were having our last 8:00 sunset until next May. Instead of being rational and saying to myself, "So what, it's August, and daylight savings doesn't end until November" I say, "Crap, it's going to be dark at four pm in a couple of weeks!!" And that's depressing. 

    I continue to struggle with my daily routine since I'm still unemployed, my dad is gone, and time I spent working and with him is now my own. The day is much longer, which I should be happy about in the summer. But when I wake up at 6 or 7 am, should I get up even if I feel crummy and I'm still tired?  Even if I sleep in until 8:00 and stay up until 2:00 or 3:00 am, that's a very long day. 

     I do my best to fill the hours with meaningful things like writing, crafts, being outdoors, taking pictures, and keeping up the few friendships I have. Keeping busy is exhausting. But I feel so guilty when I'm not. 

    I kind of strayed from the original topic: My Bucket List. I don't have one yet, but I am going to write down all the places I want to go, and things I really want to do before I die. Then I will try to figure out if I can make it happen. If you have your bucket list written, or have scratched anything off, please share with me how you were able to do it, and the obstacles you faced.  I'll be back tomorrow with my list! Is the suspense killing you or what?!

Here is my latest piece of "Encouraging Art". I hope you like it. Have a great night!

Two Years Since Cindy said Goodbye

 

WHO COULD RESIST THAT SMILE?

    Two years ago today, I brought my 15 year old dog Cindy to the vet and came out with an empty leash.     Things have never been the same.

Just a couple of days ago, I came across the sympathy card they sent me from the vet's office. Signed from all the vets with messages of support. 

    A ziploc baggie was inside with short cuttings of her fur, and three little pieces of cardboard with her paw prints in ink-not sure why they only sent three, but I was happy to get those. 

    I read all the little notes they wrote, and the sadness flooded back. How hard it was, and what would I had done if my brother in law hadn't helped me, getting her into his car, driving me to the vets a few different times as we tried to fatten her up. The ambitious plan they had wasn't meant to be, it only made things worse. My decision was made for me.

    The last day was a relief, knowing it would be over soon. But she didn't want to go, and it was agonizing for us both, lying together on the floor they had spread out with blankets, and a pillow under her head, like she was a person. 

    Time stood still as we waited for the fatal dose to put her down. It took forever because she had such a strong will. The vet told me she needed twice the dose it normally takes to get the job done. 

    I hope Cindy understood after she went over the rainbow bridge. I had to set her free. Even though it hurt, it was the best thing I could have done for her, the only way to end her pain and give her back her carefree spirit.

    My dad never got over losing her. I guess I did, but I still think of her every day. She was everything you could want in a dog. Loyal, loving and happy. At least now the two of you are together again. Rest and run in peace, both of you. I love you.

Until we meet again, be a good girl!

TREASURE HUNTING

    It's a cloudy Sunday, but I've had a great day. I finally decided to tackle a daunting task: Go through and organize my belongings. Not things I currently use, mind you. Things that I boxed and bagged up when we moved. 

    For the most part, I know what I packed. I just don't know where some of my most prized possessions  are. Either I know I have it (but it's in a "safe place"),  or I think I have it, but I'm worried I don't. A lot of my stuff was already in boxes or tote bags with handles, or old pocketbooks. 

    There are trash bags and duffel bags of clothes, many I forgot about completely.  Some of them probably don't fit anymore, but I may be able to re-purpose them into something else. Or maybe give some of them away.

    I became totally absorbed looking through my old treasures. It was like  a dumpster dive into my past, except the dumpster was full of great, exciting things that I forgot about and love. I've been putting off this job for awhile, because when you look at all those boxes and bags, it can be overwhelming. I know it's all "good" stuff because I didn't bring anything that wasn't.  

    So what did I find today? Things that made me feel nostalgic. I had folders of old school papers, that were in my desk. Some of it I wonder why I saved. But I did come across a lot of things I wrote when I was a teenager, and I had my whole life ahead of me. Some of it was even from Junior high! Not sure why I get a kick out of that. I guess most of us like to remember when we were young.

    I was happy to find many treasures that were given to me by my friend Michaela. She passed away in 2016, but I have so many thoughtful little gifts she gave me over the years (we became pen pals in 1993.) We had so many of the same interests. I'm so grateful to have been a part of her life.

    I have an amazing collection of stuffed animals, and I love them all! I just need to throw them in the wash, then I can display them. They all have wonderful memories attached to them. 

    The best thing that happens when you sort through old stuff is finding something you aren't expecting, that you totally forgot about. There are a few specific items I've been hoping to find, and I thought I had a much better chance of finding them if I'm not looking!

    I was very surprised to find three boxes of "raw" agate that I bought back in the 80's when I had a rock tumbler! The tumbler is long gone, but I've been thinking about getting another one. Rock tumbling is a long process, but it was fun seeing the stones transform from rough and plain to shiny gems. Now I will have to get a new one!

    I used to have a massive collection of old advertising tins. Most of the tins were left behind, but I was happy to discover that I still have quite a few of them. 

    I still have lots more things to go through. It will keep me busy for awhile, and that's a good thing. It's a good feeling to see old things that remind you of who you were way back when.  It makes you think! I'm full of gratitude that even though I can never go back home, the things I brought here are an extension of that old place. And at least I have my memories.

    

    

FINDING MY OLD STUFF!

    After Months and months, I finally decided to start organizing some of my stuff. When we had help moving it out of the pod, some of the boxes were put in a room off the kitchen. We call it the den, because at home we had a room off the kitchen, and it was "the den". Dad's stereo equipment, massive record collection, a big wooden chair, and lots of other stuff was there. It was a great room with the best blue floral wallpaper. I tried to peel a piece off the wall to bring with me, but it didn't come off. At least I have photos of it.

    Our new den has bare white walls, as do all the rooms downstairs in the new house. But that's OK, we aren't trying to recreate the old den. That would be impossible, especially since I didn't bring all the special beer bottles that were adorning the thin ledge over the molding on the walls under the wall paper. I later found out people actually collect old beer bottes. They were from the 70's, so I probably threw away a small fortune. Don't tell anybody!

    This was my first move, but I'm sure anybody reading this is familiar with having the part with things.  When you move, you just can't take all of it with you. In my case, some of my packing was last minute and not very organized. So there are things I wish I could find, but I have no idea where the heck they are. I'm sure they are safely packed in a box, but which box? I didn't mark all of them. 

    Another problem with me is that I am way too nostalgic at times. I guess I'm a pack rack too. I hate to throw anything away that has a memory attached to it. Or anything I think I might need later for a craft project. I love re-using things!

    Anyway, I get so happy when I see something of mine that I'm not expecting to see. Just little things , mostly from childhood. I'm so excited that after all these years, I still have it! (then I realize I'm no longer a child, I'm in my 50's, so this stuff is OLD, like me) I'm amazed that through the passage of time, things like books, little trinkets, etc.; are still intact. For some reason, it's comforting.

    Today I found a little paperback book I must have read a thousand times when I was little, with Tweety and Sylvester.  I found a ceramic puzzle I made in high school ceramics class - I wish I had a picture of it to show you, it's really neat! There are four pieces, it's a rainbow with clouds. It took me more than  minute to put it together!

    I have a beautiful collection of fine porcelain spice jars I got from Lenox, with cats on them. I forget the name of the artist right now, but they are very realistic and pretty. I love them. So I need to get the shelf up and unwrap all of the jars, I think there are 24 of them. I bought them when I was in my 20s, and didn't have a lot of money. They came in sets of two, over a course of a couple of years. I'm glad I got them! But I have no plans to put spices in them.

     I also have a bunch of "Snuggle" figurines! They may be cornball, but I love them! The teddy bear is doing various laundry-related chores. I need to unpack these and see how many there are, I don't think I bought all of them.

    Later, I found some old clothes that I had forgotten about, and these were from my adult life, so I can still wear most of them. Clothing can bring on more memories than a lot of things- remembering good times you had, or places you might have been, or things you may have done while wearing a particular sweater or shirt. Any sweater my grandmother gave me has special meaning for me, and luckily, I still have almost all of them.

    I guess I better go, I have a big bag of stuff to look at!

This is some of my knick-knack collection before we moved. They have to be unpacked too! I love them so much!