Random Thoughts While Waiting for Spring

It's hard to believe March is halfway over. We've finally reached that milestone, turning the corner from winter into spring. Once we lose the hour in the morning and gain it at night, it feels like winter is officially over. But of course, it isn't. We still have a ways to go, so what's been happening as I wait?

1. Getting a new phone: The new phones are Motorola, and are longer and bigger than my Samsung from 2017.  Not exactly life changing, but it takes getting used to nonetheless. I managed to choose ringtones and sounds that aren't too irritating. But I rarely use the cell phone for its original purpose, talking.  Recently I actually had two real conversations on the phone with old friends. I've gotten so used to texting, if only because I don't like to bother people by calling if they might be busy, eating driving, sleeping.  

Talking on the phone isn't brain surgery, but for some reason I've always hated making phone calls. It always felt strange talking to people I'm used to writing. Then there's people I can't call anymore, because they are no longer with us. I wish I had their voice messages. 

I never thought I'd turn into one of those people who became addicted to their "smart device". It bothers me how much I rely on my phone.  Mostly I use it to take an endless roll of pictures, and short videos. I have a tendency to overdo it. Somehow I never get tired of my cats, the clouds, sunsets, or the trees in my backyard. So I feel compelled to take yet another picture. My new phone's camera is high definition, and you can tell the difference in how sharp they are, but only on the phone itself, since my laptop isn't high def. The zoom is 8X instead of 4X, and there's slow motion and time lapse on the video, which I haven't tried out yet! This phone seems to be tied in with Google, so there isn't a "gallery" setting, all the pictures go straight to Google Photos. I think I'll get a micro-SD card so my photos will be backed up that way.

2. Learning some new things: I've been watching more webinars about how to make money online, since that would be an ideal situation for me. I'm not an idiot, so I don't bother with ones that are "too good to be true". Even the legitimate ones all have an extended sales pitch at the end, encouraging you to buy their course, to guarantee success. I'm sure that might work for some people, but I'd rather go it alone first. Here's hoping I become a "Fulfilled by Amazon" bookseller in the near future.  There would be some irony to this one, as back in my nursing home days, a resident accused me of stealing books and re-selling them! Maybe he was a prophet!

3.  Started an Author page on Facebook: I still have mixed feeling about this, because I'm a private person, and don't relish the idea of promoting myself to strangers.  It's also geared towards selling, so they want you to buy advertising, engage your audience, and there are lots of analytics telling me how unsuccessful I am so far. You have to start somewhere. 

   My plan is to start thinking like an author, and actually think beyond all these blogs I've started. It would be nice to actually make money on my writing, even if my primary goal is to inspire others with my words. The Bee Gees had a profound line in their song "Words".  It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.  I'm not trying to win anybody's heart, just make people think. And if I'm writing a letter to you, I'm sincere. Here's hoping my author page will spur me onto to finish up my sports essay compilation, poetry collection, short stories of life (kind of like Andy Rooney, except not as sarcastic) maybe a Bruins "Fan-atic" compilation condensing all those years of writing about the Bruins from 1983-2001.  

    Ultimately, I'd like to write e-books that are about things I know about. Nowadays it's possible to produce and publish your own work, and make a residual passive income from it. You just have to figure out where and how to publicize it, and I'm confident I'll be able to figure it out.

     Whatever you've been up to so far this month, enjoy!  Don't live to work, work to live! Take time for yourself, and go for your dreams, whatever they are, or no matter how unrealistic they may seem. If you can dream it, you can do it.

Random Thoughts on a Cold February Night

   I'm happy that winter is moving right along. It's certainly a gift that February only has 28 days most years. When I started this post, it was at least a week ago, and now February is already at it's midpoint, Valentine's Day! 

    Valentine's Day has no romantic implications for me, so I tend to think about it as little as possible. I used to plan parties every year at work, and it's a great decorating holiday. Who doesn't love hearts, red and pink, flowers, and candy? 

   It used to be my mission in life to get to all the local drugstores and hoard the half-price boxes of chocolates, and cute stuffed animals in the days following V-day. Nowadays I don't even think they stock as much, so there's fewer surplus to sell. And they wait longer to mark it down. It's probably just as well, at least for my waistline.

    What else is going on in February? We had groundhog day, with the obvious outcome, whether he saw his shadow or not. We are gaining more daylight, and it's noticeable enough to make me happy.

        Yesterday, we had the Superbowl. Not hyped like it used to be, which is alright with me. No Patriots or Tom Brady involved this year to hold my interest. 

    I didn't even hear a word about the ads, and how expensive and influential they are. I never even tuned into the "puppy bowl", which is more exciting to me than the football game.  

   I didn't watch the halftime show, knowing in advance it wasn't anything I wanted to see. Nothing personal, I'm just not attuned to that type of "music", or whatever it is.

    We had "Twos-day" on 2/2/22, and later in the month we'll have 2/22/22-is this the day they'll be making more of a fuss over? I guess we'll find out.

    February 6th was the anniversary of the blizzard of '78, a time all us New England natives will remember, those of us "lucky" enough to be there. I was 10 at the time, and we did get a lot of snow. It bothers me that every time we've gotten a big storm in recent years, it's compared; and sometimes said to be worse or as historic. No matter what statistics they use, this was the real storm of  the century. Period, end of conversation.

     I have a lot of friends and family with February birthdays-my beautiful niece and amazing nephew, for starters. Then my pen-pal Michaela, no longer with us, but all of us who knew her will never forget her. I have two friends who share a birthday, a former co-worker, and another pen pal. Both are fun, loyal friends I'm glad I've known all these years. Old friends are the best friends!

    February 28th was my cat Bigfoot's birthday, as I've mentioned in the past. We called him a Blizzard Baby-he was born in 1978. My grandfather was a Leap-year baby, born in 1916. We always got a kick out of that, him being much younger technically than his age.

    February is such a turning point. Being a short month, it brings us into March, knowing spring is right around the corner. Even if we can still get frigid weather and buried in snow. We can plan our summer vacation or our spring garden, because the time goes so quickly, we'll run out of time if we dilly dally.

   I hope you're new year is going well, and you are enjoying your February, where ever you are!

New Year. New Me?

    Somehow we managed to live through 2021, and now it's 2022.  I know it was a tough year for everybody, no matter what your situation. I'm not even sure what I want to say in this post today. 

  I know January first is when people are supposed to start fresh, and set goals for the coming year. I've learned that it doesn't pay to do that, unless you like setting yourself up for failure.  On the other hand, it can be a good way to see where you are in life, and where you want to go. Most of us just want to stay alive!    

  I can only speak for myself on how I feel about the world in general and my life in particular. I think it all depends on your frame of mind. I know I'm not satisfied with myself, and what the past year has been like, even if I give myself a break. I feel like I've lost my confidence, and I'm totally clueless as to why I haven't been able to get a job in my chosen profession. I wonder if there's something wrong with me that I'm just not seeing.  

   The death of my father in July has caused me to reevaluate what's really important, what I really want, and what I should try to do with the remainder of my time. It also brings lots of questions about my purpose in life, and how much longer will I even be around? What will happen to me when I get old, assuming I do? I have no husband, no kids, and while normally I'm OK with that, sometimes I feel a little left out. Up until this point, have I made the right decisions? Should I have tried harder to be a "success"? Or is it all in the hands of fate? 

   Of course, I don't have the answer to any of these questions. And no answers just leaves me feeling more helpless, sad, annoyed and defeated. I end up feeling sorry for myself when maybe I have no right to feel that way.  All I've ever done is try to live my life day by day, and be a responsible and loving person in an unforgiving world. 

   Maybe I didn't plan enough for the future because I was so busy just trying to get through a normal day. Little did I realize that all those humdrum days spent making a living, making dinner and going to bed only to get up and do it all over again, was really life at it's best. I never even knew how happy I was. 

   If you had told me ten years ago, or even five years ago, that I would someday be an unemployed, overweight, middle-aged single white female living in a new town in a new house, without my dad or my dog, I may have had trouble believing it. But I sure would have sat up and taken notice. And maybe things would've turned out differently. 

  But I can't travel through time, like they do in the movies. So the best I can do is appreciate what I do have, and see if I can make my own future before it's too late. With God's help, of course. I trust in God that whatever my future brings, it's for a reason. I'll never give up.

  Whatever is happening in your life, I hope you remain optimistic and believe that things are only going to get better. We don't have to wait for a new year, every day is a fresh beginning.

Christmas: The 2021 Edition

     I've written many posts about Christmas over the years. Half of them being critical of the parts I don't like, the other half about the best and most important aspects of the holiday. This year, everything is different. My perspective not just on Christmas, but life itself.  I've been thinking about this post for weeks, and for some reason have put off writing it.

    I love Christmas as much as I ever did, if not more. It seems like it becomes more meaningful when you're struggling with loss. From knowing that this Christmas will never be like all the Christmas Days that came before.  

   This year, the Christmas season became a welcome distraction from my troubles, and the sadness I've been feeling since I lost my dad. It seems like it's been the holiday season for a very long time (since before Thanksgiving), but now it's almost over, and I'm not as anxious for it to end as I used to be.

    For the first time in my adulthood, I was able to reach all my holiday goals--I finally made that stupid fruitcake I keep talking about every year. And it was delicious, if I do say so myself!  I was able to get a real tree for the first time in years, and I managed to get the house decorated inside and out, something I usually didn't have time for because I was so busy with my job.

    I've been upset about the fact that I'm not employed, but to look on the bright side, it's been a blessing to be able to have the time to do all the things I felt deprived of doing in recent memory. Like getting almost all my shopping done in a timely manner, getting cards made and mailed out, and baking up lots of cookies and sending gifts to two of my friends who live out of state. I even got to a church bazaar, and won a really nice gift basket, which I gave to my niece.

    I used to complain about how tired I was of Christmas because my job demanded me to plan and execute holiday activities, concerts, and  parties. I loved it and it was rewarding, but tiring. I blamed this for my lack of Christmas spirit.  Stepping away from Christmas as a "job" has brought back a lot of the appreciation I have for the holiday, letting me concentrate on what it's really about.

     So today, the big day is finally here. It's gloomy outside, with freezing rain. "It's a Wonderful Life" is on, and I'm happy I don't have to go out.  It was a perfect day for cooking a nice meal. I made a ham, and found a nice honey mustard glaze recipe to put on it. I also made fresh green beans, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes and cornbread. 

    It's just about ready, so I will end it here with some pictures of the season. And a heartfelt "Merry Christmas" to you, whoever and where ever you are. I hope you were able to have a peaceful and happy day, spent with your family or friends that you love. 

Sincerely, 

Karin     

                        Christmas Dinner

                              Some of the ornaments I made, pine cones I found, and an old Christmas candy tin!

 

                                                    Nice decorations nearby my house

                     These are all ornaments my mother made many years ago, on our tree this year.

               Pictures taken while out shopping and in Leominster Center this season

                                            Wreath I decorated with scraps of material

 I made a collage to save space and to easily show more photos-but some of them are cut off on the sides

                                 Jimmy and Lily like the Christmas Teddy Bear collection!

                                    Some shots of the lights on my porch, and the Christmas tree

Remembering Mr. Chamberlain

 Everybody has a teacher that they never forgot. One that was encouraging, or influenced and inspired you a certain way. I've had several, some from each stage of my school career. Maybe I'll write about some of the others another day. Today I want to talk about my 10th grade Honors English teacher, Mr. Ernie Chamberlain. 

   Each day of class had a different theme. Monday was spelling day, with a 10 word quiz, Wednesday was Greek roots and vocabulary day with quiz, Thursday was sentence skills day (grammar) and Friday was speech day. When not doing these activities, we'd either be acting out a play, or be discussing topics such as Jungian psychology, religion, good vs. evil, etc. We'd apply these themes to whatever book we happened to be reading.

    I wasn't exactly a star student in his class. English was always my best and favorite subject.  Although I understood most of what we studied, I couldn't really prove it. I got easy A's in curriculum 1 in 9th grade, so I thought I'd do fine in a harder class.  I had no trouble with the material, or workload. But for whatever reason, I didn't do well on the exams. Mr. Chamberlain's philosophy was to get us to produce under pressure. A good idea, but I wilted under the pressure! Many tests were too long for me to complete. 

    I didn't do well on the essays, either. Mostly C's and a few B's. But reading his comments was a real ego crusher. I don't know what the other kids wrote, but my work was sub-par most of the time, "thin" and not grasping whatever he was looking for.

  Despite my struggles, I really enjoyed the class. I finally redeemed myself in the 4th term, when instead of a final exam, we had to write a term paper.  The paper would count for three tests. When I got an A, it brought my grade for the term up to a B, and the year up to C+. What a thrill! I can still remember how I felt, finally breaking through. 

   The essay was to take a fable and update it to modern times. I chose "Don't count your chickens before they hatch", and it was about a Bruins fan who thought her team would win the Stanley Cup that year. Of course they didn't, in real life or in my fictional story. I was so proud of myself when he told the class I had the best story. Normally, the student got to read their paper out loud to the class, but for some reason, I didn't get the chance. Maybe he thought I didn't want to, since I never volunteered to speak up in class. In any event, it meant a lot to me. I know I still have the paper somewhere, but I can't find it. I just remember him saying in his comments "This is a side of Karin Porter I've never seen!" 

    Fast forward two years, to 1986. I was nearing graduation, and I was writing more and more. I always liked to give my work to friends to critique. He was nice enough to read a big folder of non-fiction essays about a variety of subjects.  I still have the note he wrote, with words that still make me feel good today. 

"Karin, 

  Thank you for sharing your writings with me. All the way through there are glimpses of a real person at work. Your humor and sense of the trivial-made-great shines forth at every turn of the paragraphs. 

  My favorite here is "Sylvester". Silly and your cup are rare treasures.   Your seasons of "summer" and "winter" also are both interesting and insightful-the January thaw bit hits today on the "nose".

  Keep working on such things as the smell of freshly cleaned clothes, etc. Again, thanks and keep it up.

It occurs to me your name is very similar to that of Katherine Anne Porter- anyone ever tell you that?    

                              ------ Ernest C.

PS-There's a distinct personality to these writings that is rare and should be cultivated. Most people's writing is "faceless."

   Sylvester (mentioned above) was my cat, who died an untimely death being hit by a car. But most of the story was about his personality.

The final English paper I wrote, in May '86, (with a different teacher) was called "Me and my High school years". It covered four years, but part of it was what I wrote about here, how much Mr. C influenced me. I asked him to read it, and I was surprised at how humble he was, and how I made him realize how good a teacher he was.

It says "Karin, my feet may never touch the ground again. You're already on your way to becoming one of-maybe The - greatest people to come my way. Thanks so much for letting me read this. EEC. "

On the last day of school, I asked Mr. C to pose with the cup he mentioned above. It was a ceramic mug my mom made, painted in the Bruins black and gold (actually yellow, and I think in my story there was a derogatory remark about the Bruins being "yellow"!)

Sorry about the glare. But I'm so glad I have this picture. He hammed it up with my cup, which was named "Stanley".

   After high school, I kept in touch with Mr. C, as well as the librarians. When I started my Bruins newsletter, and was writing for "Boston Sports Report" in the early 90's, I sent them copies, and they were all happy and excited for me. I was, too! I found out from Mrs. Nelson, the head librarian, that he had retired, so she forwarded my newsletters to him (I had sent them to the school.)  He wasn't a sports fan, so he didn't understand all the hockey jargon in my articles, but he did like my newsletter and my writing style.

  Over the next few years, Mr. Chamberlain wasn't my teacher, he was my friend. He took me out to lunch a few times, and one year it happened to be my mom's birthday the day I saw him, so we stopped at the supermarket and he bought my mom some potted flowers.  I have another vague memory of  driving around and going to Needham, so I could show him the convent where I was working as a cook. We got pulled over, I think because I didn't have my seat belt on! At least he didn't get a ticket.  We always planned on getting together with the librarians, but it didn't happen.  

   It was always nice to see him, and he talked about some of his other students he had kept in touch with. One of them was Nancy Glass, who back in the 90's was on TV quite often as a news reporter and on magazine-type shows. I thought that was pretty cool.

   It was a little funny, I always called him "Mr. Chamberlain", and after I was out of school, he was always telling me to "call me Ernie!" but I never felt comfortable with it. Kind of like Mary Richards always calling her boss "Mr. Grant" instead of "Lou". 

    His wife passed away suddenly in 1994, from e-coli poisoning; from tainted well water. Mr.Chamberlain was never quite the same after that. I could tell he was melancholy, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I got busy with work, and we eventually lost touch. In between, I sent him my homemade cookies, which he loved, and he sent me Christmas gifts a couple of times-stationary, blank writing journals, and other small things. I still have them (of course.)

     At some point, I must have wrote him, and he never responded. I did a search online, and I was saddened to see he had passed away in 2010. When reading his obit, I learned more about his early days, and his military service.

   He was 79 when he passed away. I don't know the cause. He served in Korea. It's hard for me to think of him being young, and in the Army, even though I'm looking at a photo of him in his uniform.

   I don't usually write a post like this one, where I'm tooting my own horn, and rambling on and on.  Over the years, I've thought of writing about him many times. When I found all the old letters, pictures and essays, it seemed like the right time. 

   A few days ago I looked him up on Legacy.com, and there were dozens of people who left written tributes to him. I wasn't his only fan. Many students spoke of his work in the school theater productions. I never saw him do any of that, I really didn't know anything about it. 

   Where he had no children, I don't know if he has relatives I can contact. But I will post my own message soon. He was a nice man, and I can still remember the way he laughed. I hope he can see that even though I'm not a "real" published author, I have stayed true to my roots with this blog. I really DO celebrate the "trivial-made-great"! 

Thank you, Mr. Chamberlain. You were a splendid teacher, who your students remember fondly. 

Here is what he looked like in my yearbook-he wasn't usually wearing a suit! 

 Teachers don't always get the credit they deserve. They can truly change lives, and sometimes us students can change theirs.

  

Happy Birthday Jimmy and Lily!

    I don't know how I could've forgotten it, but today is Jimmy and Lily's birthday! Or close enough. I looked back on the e-mails I had from the wonderful lady who gave them to me.

   They were born during the night between October 6 and 7, 2018. Since I'm assuming it was in the wee hours after midnight, I am celebrating officially today, on the 7th.

       These guys are two peas in a pod. From the beginning, the reason I picked them (from a lineup of photos) was because Lily was giving Jimmy a kiss. They reminded me of my Bootsie and Chester, sweet brothers I raised way back in the 90's. 

        I was so lucky to have my friend help me out by driving all the way to Vermont to get them for me while she was picking out a litter mate for herself. The rest is history. 

Lily is giving Jimmy a kiss-or maybe just sniffing him.

I couldn't resist! Plus I was attracted to her all white chest, stomach and front legs!

My friend took this picture of the entire litter before bringing three of them back with her. Jimmy is the tiger in the middle and Lily is on the right in the middle. This is one of the cutest photos I've ever seen!

   Jimmy has grown into a friendly heavyweight, and Lily is petite, playful and cute. They get along well most of the time. Happy Birthday!

        

Tumbling my way through Life

     I've started tumbling rocks again, after a very long hiatus. I'm glad I did, it's an interesting way to mark the passage of time.

     I used to marvel at how fast the weeks and months went by in terms of my work. I was the Activity Director at a nursing home, so my life revolved around the calendar, the holidays and seasons, religious practices, and everyday events. The point is, the weeks flew by.        Since I've been out of work, the weeks still fly by, but the time is dragging at the same time. If it wasn't for all the TV I've been watching, it would be hard to tell what day it is. On Saturday and Sunday it seems like a novelty because different shows are on. And now we have football on Sundays. 

      Getting back to my rock tumbler, it seems like a month is a long time to work on any project. But the first week is already done (I think it was actually six days, to be honest. I will have to go back and check.)

     There is a timer on the tumbler, and this next round is supposed to be 7 to 8 days on medium speed. So at 4:00 next Saturday I will examine the rocks again, and if they need more time, I can put them back for another day. If anything, it seems like they might need less time. As you will see in the photos, A lot happened in the first week!

Because of the metal grit and the ground stone in the water, you can't just dump the water in the sink. I had to bring the tumbler barrel outside, and I had a container of water and poured rocks into the provided strainer. Slurry goes into the container for safe disposal.

There is still a lot of sludge on the rocks.

I was very pleased by how nicely they are coming along-all the rough edges are gone. When they were wet, I was convinced they didn't need any more tumbling! I was wrong, of course. Once they dried, it was clear that they need a little more fine tumbling and polishing, of course.

You can probably tell these are a few "ordinary" rocks I had collected from home, and from our new back yard to make sure there was enough in the tumbler. The barrel is supposed to be half to 2/3 full of rocks and water. These rocks were smaller than the "good" stones, so I did not include them in the second round. If I did, they would grind down to pebbles! To make up the difference I put plastic beads in the tumbler, which it told to do in the instructions. You can also use ceramic pellets. I don't have those yet.

Back in the tumbler they go for another week!

When all this is done, it will be well into October. That's a sobering thought. If you know me, you know how I feel about losing my daylight! But somehow I always manage to survive it. Hopefully, this little hobby will make it a little more fun.