I've written many posts about Christmas over the years. Half of them being critical of the parts I don't like, the other half about the best and most important aspects of the holiday. This year, everything is different. My perspective not just on Christmas, but life itself. I've been thinking about this post for weeks, and for some reason have put off writing it.
I love Christmas as much as I ever did, if not more. It seems like it becomes more meaningful when you're struggling with loss. From knowing that this Christmas will never be like all the Christmas Days that came before.
This year, the Christmas season became a welcome distraction from my troubles, and the sadness I've been feeling since I lost my dad. It seems like it's been the holiday season for a very long time (since before Thanksgiving), but now it's almost over, and I'm not as anxious for it to end as I used to be.
For the first time in my adulthood, I was able to reach all my holiday goals--I finally made that stupid fruitcake I keep talking about every year. And it was delicious, if I do say so myself! I was able to get a real tree for the first time in years, and I managed to get the house decorated inside and out, something I usually didn't have time for because I was so busy with my job.
I've been upset about the fact that I'm not employed, but to look on the bright side, it's been a blessing to be able to have the time to do all the things I felt deprived of doing in recent memory. Like getting almost all my shopping done in a timely manner, getting cards made and mailed out, and baking up lots of cookies and sending gifts to two of my friends who live out of state. I even got to a church bazaar, and won a really nice gift basket, which I gave to my niece.
I used to complain about how tired I was of Christmas because my job demanded me to plan and execute holiday activities, concerts, and parties. I loved it and it was rewarding, but tiring. I blamed this for my lack of Christmas spirit. Stepping away from Christmas as a "job" has brought back a lot of the appreciation I have for the holiday, letting me concentrate on what it's really about.
So today, the big day is finally here. It's gloomy outside, with freezing rain. "It's a Wonderful Life" is on, and I'm happy I don't have to go out. It was a perfect day for cooking a nice meal. I made a ham, and found a nice honey mustard glaze recipe to put on it. I also made fresh green beans, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes and cornbread.
It's just about ready, so I will end it here with some pictures of the season. And a heartfelt "Merry Christmas" to you, whoever and where ever you are. I hope you were able to have a peaceful and happy day, spent with your family or friends that you love.
Sincerely,
Karin
